When did your mum let you get a phone?
When you’re age 7 at my son’s school you get paired up with a buddy, a 17 year old in their final year. For my son, his buddy is a huge, independent, mesmerising, knowledgeable individual at the end of their school days!
“You are going to need more gravitas to get that role, remember the GM expects a man to do this job, you’re already on the backfoot.””
It’s lovely to watch this relationship unfold. My son gets to ask his buddy important questions like: ‘when did your mum let you get a phone?’, ‘do you have a dog?’, ‘why did you dye your hair blonde?’, ‘is your brother annoying?’. His buddy, our equivalent to a mentor, ten years his senior, has made his way through the school, and I hope sees this curiosity, and remembers being in his shoes.
My mentors have always seemed about ten years older than me, have seen a bit more of life than me, muddled their way through similar situations, battles, teams, managers and clients. Have been very blunt at times in our conversations -
‘You are going to need more gravitas to get that role, remember the GM expects a man to do this job, you’re already on the backfoot’
At times caring - ‘What’s right for you and your family right now?’
Offers a new perspective - ‘Your aim should be to get your client to fire you, that’s how direct you want to be with them, it will be refreshing for them’.
And at times so simple - ‘Go for the no’s, that way you know you’re telling a lot of people about what you do’.
All words that have had a considerable impact on me and the work I do.
Sometimes I have sought out mentors, sometimes it’s been a formal arrangement and other times it’s been much more organic. I haven’t always called them my mentor, but that’s what they were.
Mentors are like champions, buddys, they are people who you can ask advice of, let off steam with, help you navigate difficult challenges with, ask questions of. Mentors are different from your friends and colleagues, they are invested in you in a unique way. I think this means we listen with a curiosity which is sometimes missing with family and friends. Hopefully most mentors are not attached to their own advice, as ultimately it’s your life and you can choose what to do with the information from those conversations.
I mentor two wonderful people at the moment, both at very different stages of their careers. One came through a formal ‘call to action’ from the unique group Careering into Motherhood set up by Jane Johnson; and the other because someone asked and I sad yes, the timing was right.
I benefit hugely from being a mentor, maybe a bit like the 17 year old curious about what questions the 7 year old might ask. It lets me see my own career through a different light, it encourages me to try different things or see a problem I am facing in a different way. It’s a relationship where if you both put in 100% the rewards are great.
A word of caution. Early on in my career I thought having a mentor would get me effortlessly noticed and promoted, mean that I wouldn’t have to deal with the internal politics. It didn’t and it wont. If anything it helped me see the ‘game’ at play, and focused my decision making about how I wanted to play it.
So to all the buddys, mentors and champions out there. Whatever your age, background or passion, thank you, you are doing an amazing job.