Are you clearing clutter, starting odd jobs, organising your photo albums? Sometimes it’s hard to look at photos of ourselves. So many things to pick apart. A double chin, a poorly fitting top, wrinkles, grey hair, the list goes on. And yet look at photos of children; they are beautiful, incredible, perfect, just as they should be.

So, when does that change?

When do we become so critical of ourselves, and to what end? This photo is me, I think I’m four. I look ace! You can see the happiness, the curiosity, the love, and yes of course those awesome cheeks! There is nothing to criticise, to pick at.

I am part of an amazing group working with Shirzad Chamine, author of Positive Intelligence, a book I would highly recommend for its practical tools to recognise and manage the critical voices that live within us. This week, we were challenged to find a childhood photo, like this one, to reconnect with our real self, our essence if you like. To remember who we really are, and to think about what’s possible if we bring more of this into our work and life.

It has been a hugely powerful exercise helping to shine a light on how harsh, sometimes brutal we are with ourselves. That we beat ourselves up for failure, for how we react, or didn’t react, and disconnect with the beautiful compassionate voice that lives within all of us.

These critical voices are hyper alert at the moment, in myself and others; ‘I should be doing better at home schooling’; ‘I must make the most of this opportunity’; ‘I’m not helping enough people’; ‘why haven’t I been in touch with more friends’, and a frequent one from clients last week ‘I realise how lazy I am’. Completely untrue.

Your essence has nothing to do with your job title, your current status, being furloughed, or your bank balance. Your essence is what makes you, you. It’s you at your core - playful, wise, inquisitive, funny, curious, you.

I am now creating more space for the curious girl in the photo to be heard saying; ‘it’s ok, you’re doing brilliantly’; ‘have an ice lolly for breakfast’; ‘you are helping more than you realise’. The girl that was happy playing for hours in the garden, and didn’t worry about the next day.

I remember we had a pond in our garden, there was lots of tadpoles and I loved catching them in a bucket, watching them and then putting them back in the pond. Over and over again. I had all the time in the world, I was curious about the world around me and the people in it and that was enough. What do you remember about your true essence, what do you need to remember and reconnect with now?

So perhaps as you sort through your things, you will pause to reflect on your younger self. What were you like, what lies deep in your heart, what do you know in those twinkling eyes? How can you bring that quality into your life and work, today and tomorrow?

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Sally Powell is a professional leadership coach, passionate about creating space for teams and individuals to think and act differently.