Why mentors are good for us
When you’re age 7 at my son’s school you get paired up with a buddy, a 17 year old in their final year. For my son, his buddy was a huge, independent, mesmerising, knowledgeable individual at the end of his school days!
It’s lovely to watch this relationship unfold. My son got to ask his buddy important questions like: ‘when did your mum let you get a phone?’, ‘do you have a dog?’, ‘why did you dye your hair blonde?’. His buddy, our equivalent to a mentor, ten years his senior, has made his way through the school, and I hope sees this curiosity, and remembers being in his shoes.
My mentors have always seemed about ten years older than me, have seen a bit more of life than me, muddled their way through similar situations, battles, teams, managers and clients. Have been very blunt at times in our conversations -
‘You are going to need more gravitas to get that role, remember the GM expects a man to do this job, you’re already on the backfoot’
At times caring - ‘What’s right for you and your family right now?’
And offers a new perspective - ‘Your aim should be to get your client to fire you, that’s how direct you want to be with them, it will be refreshing for them’.
All words that have had a considerable impact on me and the work I do.
Recently, a client talked about how she was taking on the role of mentor for a junior barrister. A new role for her and one that she wants to get right. She’s asking herself important questions; ‘What do I want to get from this relationship?’; ‘How can I give 100% to it?’; ‘What type of mentor do I want to be?’.
Relationships like this matter, and they deserve some thought before they start. It’s a relationship where if you both put in 100% the rewards are great. Do we all need a mentor? I believe we all need people in our life who are different from friends and colleagues, someone who is invested in us in a unique way.
A word of caution. Early on in my career I thought having a mentor would get me effortlessly noticed and promoted, mean that I wouldn’t have to deal with the internal politics. It didn’t and it wont. If anything it helped me see the ‘game’ at play, and focused my decision making about how I wanted to play it. How I wanted to show up.
So to all the buddys, mentors, and champions out there. Whatever your age, background or passion, thank you, you are doing an amazing job.
If you found this helpful, you might like this - How to Ask Great Questions
I'm Sally Powell, and I'm a coach. I work with amazing individuals who are investing in their self-leadership.