A client asked me this week if we could talk about how to frame questions which allow people to think. These are the principles I instinctively return to: 

• Most of us have heard the term ‘open’ questions; what, when, how, what if. I call these types of questions, Powerful Questions. They enable you to be really curious, and to gather information from someone.

• The question ‘Why?’ can often feel like you are putting someone on the spot, as if there must be a certain answer, a correct answer to the question. So yes, use it, just be intentional about when you do.

• Practice using the question ‘what’s on your mind?’. ‘What’s on your mind’ is open, it stops the small talk, gets to the heart of things, and creates real conversation.

• Many coaches would call, ‘what else’, the magic question. You can ask it three or four times and like the layers of an onion more and more information is unpeeled. Curiosity can be playful, so play around this week with the questions you ask people. Maybe there is someone in your team or in your friendship group who you would like to know more about.

• Remember to pause after you ask a question. Many are quick to jump in and fill the silence, and offer an answer. How comfortable are you with silence? Some people need longer to respond, it’s ok, relax!
  

• Don’t fall into the assumption that asking questions like this takes too much time! You can have an amazing conversation in a few minutes if you allow the space for it. Which is really the key question - ‘what do you want to create space for?’

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“Questions are open doors that invite us in” (Nancy Willard)