What did you collect when you were a child?

Rubbers? Bracelets? Stickers?

I had a huge collection of keyrings. I kept them in a big glass jar. My favourite was a Garfield the Cat keyring, plastic and oversized, from one of our summers visiting granny in Scotland. It swung around on my school bag until my next favourite came along.

I've always collected things: vintage jackets, ceramics, jugs. At one point, I had over 30 jugs for cream, milk, custard. We joked that I could run a café.

And now, instead of plastic keyrings or 80s jugs, I collect moments. I like to call them A-ha moments. I basically collect those points in time when the penny drops. When I find clarity about my behaviour, habits, triggers, taboo subjects.

My most recent A-ha moment is how fascinated I am about the subject of money. Our beliefs around it, how our parents have impacted our views, how to talk about money with our children.

Many of my clients want to talk about it because money has a huge impact on our work, families, perception of growth, and confidence.

For many, money is hard. Even the most educated and intelligent people can struggle with making financial decisions.

Some visibly recoil as they start to talk about money, hoping they can bury their head in the sand and the subject will go away. Yet, they know that it would be healthy to take an honest, more proactive look at their approach. Dare I say it, even consider starting a new relationship with money.

Do you have a relationship with money?

If you could describe your relationship with money, which words would you choose?

One-sided, abusive, respectful, uninterested, frightened, joyful, informed?

There is a lot of fear wrapped up in money, beliefs around scarcity and not having enough. There's also the judgement of ourselves and other people about how it's used.

There is an exercise which I recently did, and you might like to try, one which Jen Sincero mentions in her book 'You Are A Badass at making Money'. She suggests you write a letter to money, describing what it's like to be in a relationship with it.

Doing this gave me some new information about myself. A definite A-ha moment. It helped me see how I can be disinterested one minute, overly micro-managing of money the next. This would be a nightmare in a romantic relationship - the needy girlfriend one minute, aloof and not returning calls the next.

From here, you can start to ask yourself questions like 'How would I like the relationship to be?' You may realise you want to change the language you use when discussing money.

Don't mention money

Not everyone wants to talk about money. Many cringe when it's brought up.

It's a taboo subject that many of us would avoid at all costs. Is it any wonder why it's so difficult to make decisions about buying a house, investing in our careers, buying a new car, seeking investment, asking for a pay rise? It brings up all our worst fears, assumptions and beliefs. Many of which we have grown up with influenced by our parents' attitudes. It's worth understanding the wiring we are born with. We can then choose whether we want things to be different, but first, you need to get curious about what the wiring looks like.

Not talking freely about money can also give the impression that everyone else is much more competent and sorted in their finances than we are.

Others love to talk about it but worry they'll sound arrogant or feel like it's not appropriate. One client described being in this amazing New York apartment and asking the owner how much it cost. His wife took real offence and found it distasteful that they were discussing money. The guy was happy to talk about it. He was very proud of where he lived.

I get that feeling of distaste., But not wanting to talk about money can give it more power than it deserves. Money is important. It can be an enabler. It's fun to spend and spend on others, allowing us to have an impact. And I don't know about you but holding cash is so rare that it gives me a satisfying buzz when I have cash!

The collector in me would like a glass jar again. Not filled with keyrings this time. Just cash.

Money is a huge topic. If you are interested in understanding your relationship to it, here are some resources I would recommend:

 • The Soul of Money: Transforming Your Relationship with Money and Life, Lynne Twist

• You are a Bad Ass at Making Money, Jen Sincero

• Happy Money: Understand and Heal Your Relationship with Money, Ken Honda

• Talking to my Daughter: A Brief History of Capitalism, Yanis Varoufakis 

Is it time for your A-ha moment about money?

Don't shy away from talking about money. And if you have children or a business, this is probably a good time to discover how you feel about money and how those you are in a relationship with do as well. Go gently, stay curious about what you hear.

And try the exercise of writing the letter. It could provide you with some A-ha moments – some new information on a well-worn topic. Remember to stay fascinated about what you notice, not to judge yourself, and then really to ask whether you would like things to be different. And create a small action.

I'm dusting off the glass jar. I want to enjoy seeing real cash again. If we don't use it, see it, talk about what are we left with? Being contactless?