The Art of Constructive Feedback: Beyond the Blah

In a coaching session with a newly appointed CMO, she said "feedback without constructive is just blah." I had to laugh - her blunt honesty was refreshing, and she was absolutely right. We've all been on the receiving end of feedback that left us scratching our heads, wondering what we were supposed to do with it.

I hear it time and time again, individuals receiving well-meaning but unhelpful comments from peers and board members. "Be more strategic"; "Improve your executive presence"; "Your communication needs work."

All technically feedback, but about as useful as telling someone their soup needs "more flavour" without mentioning salt, spice, or seasoning.

We have all been guilty of serving up this kind of feedback!

What Makes Feedback Actually Helpful

The difference between "blah" feedback and the kind that genuinely helps people grow comes down to three things that sound simple but require real thought and care.

1.       Get specific about what you actually saw.

What exactly have I noticed? Not my interpretation, not my assumptions about their intent, but what actually happened that I could describe to someone who wasn't there.

2.       Explain why it matters.

How is this impacting their goals, their relationships, their effectiveness? What's at stake if this continues?

3.       Offer a genuine path forward.

What's one specific thing they could try? Not a complete personality overhaul, but one concrete action they could take tomorrow.

Why We're All Guilty of Giving "Blah" Feedback

Let's be honest - giving really good feedback takes effort. It requires us to pay attention, think carefully about impact, and invest time in someone else's development. It's so much easier to say "great job" or "needs improvement" and move on with our day.

There's something uncomfortable about being that specific, that direct. What if I hurt someone's feelings? What if I'm wrong? What if they get defensive?

Or we live in hope that improvement will just happen over time! Without us saying anything.

Vague feedback isn't kinder - it leaves people guessing, trying to read between lines that don't exist, making changes that might be completely off-base.

When Feedback Actually Works

A few months after our conversation, that CMO shared what happened when she started applying this approach with her own team. One of her directors had been struggling with stakeholder relationships, and instead of the usual "you need to be more collaborative," she sat down with him for a real conversation.

"I noticed in yesterday's meeting that when Sarah suggested modifying the timeline, you immediately explained why it wouldn't work without asking any questions about her concerns. I could see her physically pull back, and she didn't contribute much after that."

Then she added: "I think you know your stuff so well that you're solving problems before fully understanding them. But Sarah has insights about customer impact that we need. What if next time you started with curiosity? Maybe 'Help me understand what you're seeing that makes you think we need more time?'"

The director later told her it was the most helpful feedback he'd ever received. Not because it was positive or negative, but because he understood what he could do differently.

A Simple Way to Make Feedback Better

Before offering feedback, ask yourself – "If someone gave me this exact feedback, would I know what to do next?" If the answer is no, you are probably about to contribute to the "blah."

The Human Side of Growth

That CMO was right - feedback without constructive elements really is just blah. But when we invest the time and emotional energy to make our feedback truly helpful, something different happens. People start seeking it out instead of dreading it. They begin to see feedback conversations as gifts rather than performance reviews.

We all want to grow, to get better at what we do, to make a meaningful impact. But we can't do it alone, and we can't do it without real information about how we're showing up.

The least we can do for each other is make sure our feedback is worth the vulnerability it takes to receive it.