Our judge keeps our head firmly in the sand
Guilt and judgement can be what you feel when you want to do something differently. Feeling that spending 10 years in one industry or growing one business is enough, but knowing deep down, you have more to give. You don't see yourself as one thing. You offer more range than that.
But what would people say if you gave all that up? You should stay, right? Not give in. How can you explain your new career choice? Do you even have the skills and motivation needed to make a change?
We are so talented. We have such range as leaders, and yet we too often let ourselves stay in something that no longer feels satisfying. We let it happen.
When I left my role in public affairs, I knew instinctively I didn't want to do that type of work anymore. I had always said I would never be a specialist. I tried to remain a generalist, and it was getting harder to do so. Others wanted me to specialise. They said, I wouldn't get promoted, that I was difficult to label. It felt limiting, I thought there must be something wrong with me, or maybe I'm just not smart enough to do this work. Perhaps I'd reached the limit of what I was capable of. I judged myself for wanting something different.
It takes strength to move on and try something else. Over the last six years, my work has been varied. It has included setting up a product business, writing a memoir, running retreats for CEOs on inspiration, mentoring others, speaking at roundtables, and of course, a wonderful leadership and coaching business. I guess it is called a portfolio career. I didn't aim for that. I simply set out for something more satisfying. I had to get my head out of the sand!
Even that wasn't easy to articulate. I could never have done that if I had stayed where I was. I work with people every day who are exploring their range - lawyer, scriptwriter, vet, founder, commercial director, charity leader, IT consultant, barrister, systems coach. The list goes on. They are all truly inspirational.
All of these people have two things in common:
There were things they didn't know - the hows and whats, the details, the certainty of when things would happen, how much money they would make.
They all share a sense that now is the time even if it feels messy - a fork in the road, a crossroads, redundancy, a difficult relationship.
It starts with a desire to explore, and that isn't always easy. It needs you to set aside your own judgement which fuels the shame or guilt for wanting change.
How do you know?
Well for some people it's like an itch that won't go away. For others, it's the dissatisfaction of not fulfilling their potential. Maybe you're bored talking about what you do, or you overcompensate by talking about your work too much. Your ears prick up when others start talking about how they made a shift. You judge yourself for wanting something similar and think of numerous reasons why it won't work for you.
It really can show up over the years in so many ways. I hear people say that they just know something has to change. Often they will tell me they don't know exactly what it is. More often than not, they just need a place to voice things without judgement.
Our judgemental side will tell us there is right and wrong. If I stop this, I must get this or else it won't be satisfying. What our judge won't acknowledge is that there is a vast range we get to experience when we let go of this attitude.
There are considerable gifts in exploring your range. You start to see the enormous possibilities out there. I don't know what else is in store for me and that is an amazing place to be. Judgement will not lead to change. It will lead to more of the same.
Ready to invest in yourself? I am booking in clients for September, please get in touch to talk about what change looks like.