To vent or not to vent? That is the question.

I had a client that wanted to vent. He had a role that he was struggling to recruit for. They were on their third person who wasn’t capable enough. Clients were complaining. He was having to pick up the mistakes.

We need to vent. To moan. To let it out.

It’s like opening a window to let out a bad smell and let fresh air in. But what do you do after the release?

You get curious. Why has this upset you so much? What’s the pattern behind the event? If it’s a pattern, it probably needs breaking.

Was it bad luck my client kept recruiting the wrong person? Three times?

If you do think there’s a pattern emerging, ask yourself what’s the common thread here? What part are you playing? These are the types of questions I encourage my clients to get fascinated about. Fascination leads to attention, which leads to being intentional about what choices you want to make next.

For my client, there was a pattern of attracting the wrong people, and it started with a lack of time invested by him in the recruitment process. He didn’t value part of the process, and the end result was a poor hire.

He could blame himself. He could blame them. He could continue moaning. All choices. However, he chose to change the pattern instead. He decided to look at how to get others involved in recruitment, so it wasn’t all on him. He chose to behave differently at interviews instead of begrudging the time involved. We looked at what he had to gain.

Making choices

Venting isn’t always a bad thing. It can release those pent up negative emotions and provide an immediate release. If you find the right confidant, they’ll offer a sympathetic ear and perhaps help validate your feelings. They may even challenge you and help you see the situation from a different perspective.

But venting doesn’t solve the problem. It can antagonise and can potentially destroy relationships. It can also absolve you of any responsibility. Because venting is emotion-led, you’re not looking at the situation holistically. And remember, as a leader, you have fewer people there to challenge you. Just because they agree with you doesn’t make you right.

Leadership is hard work. Leadership is also a privilege.

We lead others while leading ourselves.

Sometimes we would rather hide in a box. But when we dare to look, we see there are always choices. Things to be fascinated about. That’s what makes us human.

As a coach, I’m fascinated by what makes us tick. I work with leaders who are curious about themselves and want to develop and grow. Does that sound like you? Book a free call with me to find out more.