How I Discovered the Importance of Connection
When I was around 10, my friends and I started a group called The 7-Up Club. We met in my shed, my very musty spider-happy shed, and discussed ‘important’ topics. Perhaps we romanticised the characters from the Famous Five. We weren’t detectives, but we were a gang, a group, a team. We chatted and planned. Something brought us together, and it was wonderful.
I hadn’t thought about the 7-Up Club until yesterday when a client talked about feeling lonely in her current role. She has a reoccurring thought about doing too much work on her own and not having someone to share the highs and lows.
I know that feeling. Perhaps you do too. It’s felt by people who work for themselves and those at the most senior levels of the organisation. It’s part and parcel of carving out your own route. Sometimes it feels like you’re on that path by yourself.
What was beautiful to see was how my client lit up as she described loving having impromptu coffees with new people. Her passion for networking events where she could talk about what she does and be fascinated by others stories and careers was evident. Even the buzz of reaching out to a new person on LinkedIn and them saying yes to a meeting sparked joy.
Creating, designing, being in the company of others. Asking others for help in the areas we know less about. We all need this. Human beings crave connection. We also appreciate time by ourselves, but we are not designed to operate solo for too long.
Social connection is important for our health and wellbeing. It can help lower feelings of anxiety and depression. It helps us regulate our emotions and boost self-esteem and empathy. It can even improve our immune system. Without this connection, we put our health at risk.
The whole is greater than the sum of its parts
Coined by Aristotle, this is a phrase that rings true. A TV is made up of many different parts, but they only show their effectiveness when all put together to make a television. It can be the same for people.
Families, friends, sports teams. There doesn’t have to be a standout figure within these groups of people. But together, using their own skills and personalities, they form a powerful group.
We need belonging. I’m sure this was what the 7-Up Club was all about for me. A desire to belong to a group. It valued the things I cared about at 10 - talking, plotting, creating. And we did it in a space we had formed ourselves.
So whatever part of this resonates, let yourself reflect on what you need now, on your path. Allow yourself to be reminded of what lights you up, and then go seek out more of that. Maybe it will look different from how it looked before. Trust that you will know it when you’re there.