Why are you Procrastinating?

Guilty as charged! I've been caught procrastinating again.

I've made a cup of tea, put on some washing, sent a couple of Whatsapp messages, checked my bank statement. Blimey, for me, it is less about the time wasted on these things but more about the energy I've wasted doing them.

I have been playing around with different tools to help me when the procrastinator shows up. I talk about it like it's separate to me because I think it is. It's not me. I can distinguish Sally from the procrastinator. Those that work with me will understand the avoidance tendencies that we all have, how and when they show up, what negative feelings such as overwhelm, stress and unhappiness can trigger procrastination. Often the task in hand isn't even related. It's just where we focus our procrastination.

Yes, some people have stronger tendencies towards procrastinating or avoiding, but we all do it.

What are the things you typically procrastinate over?

Phone calls, difficult conversations, paying for things, giving feedback…?

We tell ourselves that it will go away, or it will feel better if we leave it. Instead, we just dwell on it or 'push it to the back of our minds', when really it is still front and centre.

I have been avoiding calling our City Car Club even though my bank card has expired with them, and they can't take payment. Three months have gone by now, and I'm embarrassed. I'm hoping it will go away. I know I can make a big deal about things sometimes, typically calling call centres. I tell myself it will take too long, they won't give me the thing I want, I have better things to do with my time.

Procrastination takes energy and time away from things that I, we would all rather be doing. So today, it was first on my list. I even told myself I couldn't have a coffee until it was done. It took minutes to sort. Now, where's the milk for my frothy coffee?

It could have done it months ago if I hadn't listened to the Avoider.

The Avoider is a term coined by Shirzad Chamine, who lectures on Positive Intelligence at Stanford. The Avoider is one of our saboteurs. It doesn't like unpleasant things and avoids those moments.

What the Avoider does is lie to us. It justifies itself knowing that we want harmony and things to stay easy. It tells us that it is possible by avoiding the task at hand. All we do is end up thinking about, possibly even losing sleep over it, burying our head in the sand!

What is procrastination?

James Clear writes about procrastination on his website. Interestingly, he talks about our future self versus our present self. We set goals or to-do lists to plan for our future selves. How does our present self benefit from these goals? Why should we do something that won't give us instant gratification? We can see the benefits of planning for the future. But, in reality, we want that reward now, and if we know we aren't going to get it, it's hard to find the motivation to just bite the bullet and get it done.

So how do you combat it? We're not constantly procrastinating (I hope). There are moments where we hit that flow, and the tasks just keep getting ticked off. But what do you do when you find yourself slowing down? Not wanting to do something.

Try writing a procrastination list

This is not to judge yourself but to see what's on your mind. Slightly different from a to-do list, write down all the things you have been avoiding, and then score or mark those weighing heaviest on your mind. When we start to clear these things, we make space for the good stuff.

Then, when you actually do something off this list, reward yourself. Like small children, we are motivated by what immediately feels good. Do the task, then treat yourself to something like I did – a coffee, messing about on you-tube, ironing! Whatever floats your boat.

In a world continuously vying for our attention, it is no surprise we procrastinate over things. It is part of something much bigger, and the solution lies in learning to become present to what is here right now. Present to what we are thinking and feeling. Noticing and acknowledging that rather than hiding from it, we need to make choices and take action.

So, start with the list. If you have a strong procrastinator, you might need to ask it to go and do something else so that you can get on with what needs your attention.

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