Why I quit over a post-it note

There it was. A bright yellow post-it note stuck on my desk. It simply read ‘you need to reduce the budget by 10%’.

All I wanted to do was bury my head in my hands, but I was at work. And I was working on something both exciting and terrifying in equal measure. It was a high profile project that brought together all senior executives from around the world. It was the first time I had been responsible for a project that size. And it was the first time a Chief Executive knew who I was. I didn’t want to mess up.

I remember seeing that figure. 10%. It was a huge amount and, to be honest, unimaginable. We were three weeks from launch.

My boss spoke to our project team and basically told us we knew what we needed to do. She was right. We knew what to do. But that wasn’t the problem.

We went back to every supplier and squeezed them to reduce their fee by any method we could. Every agreement we had made was retracted. It wasn’t a problem. Our company was huge, and we could flex our muscles when it came to smaller businesses.

It was like we pulled the rug out from under them.

I felt sick. One supplier said they would never work with us again. It turned out this wasn’t the first time they had been pressurised at the last minute. I can still see the guy’s face as he walked out of our meeting. It made me cold.

But that didn’t make us stop.

We continued chipping away and brought the budget down by 12%. 12% on a £2million budget was a massive saving.

Surely we should have been delighted we’d done it.

Our boss was over the moon.

However, despite the ginormous savings we had managed to make, huge costs came as a result of our actions.

A couple of days before launch, our boss told us that she had written the post-it, not the CEO, as we had all been led to believe. It was all made up. I guess she wanted to make herself look good for coming in under budget.

It felt sickening for our team.

We had destroyed important relationships with suppliers. We had pushed at a time when there was enough real stress without creating made-up stress. Worst of all, it tainted the project right when we needed to be championing each other to get us over the finish line.

Every one of those suppliers was at the mercy of us. We knew the weight of our organisation, and we used it. It didn’t feel good. It spoke volumes about the company and some of the tactics which were going on at every level. It spoke volumes about me. That I felt I had to do what I was told, that I went along with it.

It was a turning point for me.

It wasn’t just that event. It was a series of moments that didn’t feel right. Things that made me feel less myself and more someone I had to be to succeed.

When I resigned, they offered to double my salary. Further confirmation that they didn’t get it. I said no. I could no longer work somewhere where I had to compromise my own values. Business is not always fair, but I do believe it can be done authentically and with decency. There were too many times where I felt physically sick, not wanting to go into that office.

We always have a choice -

Choice to change the situation

Choice to say something

Choice to listen to the voice in our head

Choice to do nothing

Why is it so difficult at times to make a choice?

It requires us to be personally responsible for something. At times we would rather just go with the flow or wait for things to change.

Sometimes that’s ok, but too many of those times soon mount up.

Sometimes things don’t change, and we have to. Companies show their true colours, and we have to decide if we want to stay.

Choices aren’t always easy. They take courage, trusting in ourselves. They take not knowing exactly how things are going to look on the other side. They take getting it wrong.

The next role wasn’t perfect, but looking back, it bought me some much needed space and a stepping stone to a company I spent seven great years with. Many gifts, none of which I could have seen, none of which would have come if I hadn’t written that letter of resignation.

Are you compromising right now? Where do you need to make a different choice?

Maybe a chat with a coach who’s been there might help? I’m Sally, and I’ve been where you are. Book in for a free chat here.