Is it time to let go?

"I don't want to micromanage them."

I hear you.

When you feel like you're micromanaging someone, it is draining for you and them. It's the opposite of empowering others. In coaching terms, we call it a 'toxin'.

Most of us have been micromanaged at some point in our career. I remember it feeling suffocating, literally like my work was under a microscope.

Micromanaging impacts people differently. Some fall into line and get on with it. Others rebel. Some hide information to try and retain some sense of power.

We've all experienced it. But funnily enough, I haven't heard anyone say they want to be a micromanager.

Not one person I've worked with or coached has said they want to micromanage their team. That it's their preferred leadership style.

So, if nobody wants to be a micromanager, why does it end up happening?

My coaching clients give these reasons:

• There is a  fear of becoming disconnected from those in the team

• They feel more comfortable doing their old job rather than overseeing employees who now do it

• They have a distrust in someone, and perhaps in themselves

Fear, discomfort and distrust. These are not ingredients for success!

So, how do you get over these things and become the leader you aspire to be?

Disconnection is a real fear

One way to counter this fear is to seek information in different ways — through reports, meetings, and one-on-one conversations.

The key here is structure and space. Micromanagers overlay with too many meetings, too many updates, and are cc'd in everything. Meeting more often is not necessarily what you need. The answer is in a structure that meets your team's goals and the business and gives people the freedom to get on.

A transformational yet straightforward step for one client was putting in a weekly thirty-minute meeting and agreeing on roles and responsibilities of a new project. For another, it was setting expectations for the next quarter and then leaving the project manager to get on with it. At times, both clients had to hold their tongues to let others get on with delivery. Yes, they could do the job with their eyes closed, but the business needs them to play a more strategic role now.

I know how hard it is to step back, but what's surprising for people is how much better it feels than micromanaging. It’s a muscle that we need to use more often.

There's rarely growth without discomfort

When you've transitioned from a role that you know inside out to leading others, it will feel strange. You've been removed from your comfort zone into a far more daunting role. You need structure, patience and clear expectations. This will help you stay out of the micromanaging space.

Think about the different roles you play. Have you defined for yourself what each role looks like? Think about the skills you already have and how you can bring them to this leadership position. By returning to those skills, but not the tasks, you'll find yourself moving forward with your career and not holding yourself back.

Building trust is a necessary process

Micromanagement means we lack trust in our abilities and in our team. We fear things not being done 'properly' or that mistakes will reflect badly on our reputation. We want to control outcomes, so we focus in too heavily.

Are there people in your team that you don't trust to get the job done? Maybe, when you stop and think about it, you don't trust them to do the job as you would do it? Does that matter? We're not all the same, and we tackle things differently.

Remember, if you can't trust your team, will they be able to trust you?

Micromanagement isn't authentic leadership

If you're focusing on the small day-to-day tasks, how will you focus on the bigger picture?

Leadership requires you to delegate, to prioritise, to communicate. These are things that you're good at. That's why you're a leader.

If you do feel like you've slipped into micromanagement, it isn't too late for a reset. Start coaching your team rather than telling them what to do. Be clear to your team when you want to be hands-on with a project and when you want them to run with it themselves.

And finally, listen to yourself. Trust yourself, you're doing an amazing job.