What if conflict was rebranded as information?
From “a disagreement or argument, typically a protracted one”. To “facts provided or learned about something or someone”.
How would we feel about conflict then?
Most of my clients don’t like conflict. Our worry is that we’ll lose control of the conversation, that it will have long term consequences, that we’ll show too much emotion.
What if conflict is simply new information trying to emerge. What if that was the focus rather than the uncomfortableness and negativity that we often associate with it.
Conflict can take different forms in teams, it can be:
Dyadic – A dispute between two individuals in a group.
Single individual – Often called a ‘bad apple’ whose toxic behaviours unsettle the group.
Whole Group – Everyone is in conflict, each pushing their own agenda.
In my work with teams, dyadic conflict between two individuals can be the most frustrating for colleagues. Yet research shows it can be hugely productive for the whole team, if managed well by leaders or colleagues.
Why?
It’s new information that is trying to emerge. Information about a project, an approach, a risk. When approached with curiosity and an appreciation for diverse thought, conflicting views offer the team much more than everyone agreeing with each other. Trying to shut conflict down can have negative impacts on the whole team.
This doesn’t change the fact that for many it feels uncomfortable.
Some will try to change the subject or move the conversation along to agreement to early. As Randall S Peteron, Professor of Organisational Behaviour at London Business School says, ‘The trick is to find the sweet spot: just enough conflict to unearth the big issues, but not so much that you end up getting stuck’.
So, what can you do to encourage healthy conflict:
Don’t shy away from it if it shows up.
Get curious, ask powerful questions (who, how, what) to understand what information is trying to emerge.
Encourage the rest of the team to listen to the argument, ask questions, and evaluate pros and cons. The whole team will learn by doing this.
Conflict is inevitable, it’s part of being a well-functioning team. Find the right balance and maybe even you will start to like it!
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